So in terms of days I have passed the half way point. And I worked out today that I am five pounds away from reaching the half way point in terms of my goal weight.
I've spent this morning being very lazy. I promised myself a lie-in today as long as the weather was bad and fortunately, although it started good, it has got pretty grey and cold this afternoon. I'm still in a mixed mood about the whole diet. I am definitely getting slimmer. I can see it in my body and feel it in my clothes. And I am happy when I see the results but otherwise I am finding it all very hard work. Part of me keeps reminding myself that it's not long now and I can certainly do it and the other half just wants to be normal and eat normal food. I think I am certain that I will want to enter management when the 100 days are over. I have read the cautionary tales of 'loosing a bit more before you reintroduce food' but I don't think I will do that. I have been giving it a lot of thought as my friend who I am doing this with feels as if she will definitely need to go into development after.
Part of these disordered thoughts may be down to the fact that a few of my friends are currently dong the Cambridge Diet. Both of them only had a very small amount to lose and therefore only did sole source for 1 or 2 weeks. It's making 46 days seem a very long time. But then I had a lot more to loose than them. So my current thinking is 100 days limit. I will get to that point. I will enter management and open that can of worms.
I still have not had one illegal item. Not even a bit of lemon in water. Nothing. But I don't feel particularly virtuous. I feel more like a indoctrinated cult member. I know I won't eat in more of an 'absolutely terrified of what might happen' kind of way. I'm becoming a little too obsessed with it all.
I'm off out tonight to a Pirate themed Murder Mystery night. It sounds really quite ridiculous but I am sure it will be a laugh. I have my costume ready but sadly no parrot. So it is sparkling water and thigh slapping for me this eve!
And back to my original point. I'm pretty much half way there. The point at which I have folded on every diet I have ever done. This is the weakest point for me. I know it. For years I have never got past this point. I wish I'd listened a bit more in psychology class. I wish my subconscious brain would kindly step up and tell me why it does not want me to go any further than this. And a few words from my conscious brain on why it won't let me deviate from the plan. And finally, seeing they spend so much time cooped up in my brain together - why in God's name do they not have a little chat with each other and let me get on with my day!
Arrrrrrrrrr.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Well done on getting over the 50 days, that's brilliant, but don't let those sub-consious thoughts trick you into giving up like before. Keep on until the 100 days like you've planned.
Hope the Murder Mystery went well, I love these, but haven't done them for years.
Keep up the good work.
Amanda x
Hi you.
Yay! - your over half way through Foundation. You have done so well so far. As hard as it to ignore those subconscience thoughts I think you should try not to think too far ahead, you may feel differently by the time you complete foundation and want to go into Development, or you might not, but why not worry about that when you get to it.
I do kinda know what you mean,I have a tendancy to tie myself in knots thinking and then thinking some more, if I want to get to my goal I will have to go into development, but at the moment I am (trying mostly-sometimes failing) to concentrate fully on Foundation and Foundation only.
As I am sure I have mentioned before, you have done amazingly well in the first half of foundation and you've acheived great running total loss.
Keep up the good work and I hope you've had a nice weekend.
xxx
Post a Comment