Sunday 9 December 2007

Day Twenty - RtM

Another slow start today. It is funny how I so crave the chance to have a weekend to myself and as soon as I get it I want nothing more than to be surrounded by friends and family.

I have just had breakfast/lunch. I made a bowl of quinoa with apple juice, diced apples and cinnamon. It is delicious. All the flavours and smells of christmas. I don't seem to have any connection with what it means to be full though. Or should I say - no longer hungry. I need to really make that a massive focus this week and make myself stop eating when I am no longer hungry.

I am going to see Billy Budd performed by the LSO tonight. It is all very odd as I bought the tickets to go with someone I no longer have any contact with. I have not spoken to this person in months and therefore have a spare ticket. The things is that most people have no interest in going to see it so, like my little trip to the opera last Thursday, I may well be going alone again.

I guess that is why I am on a bit of a downer - made worse by my time spent alone to ponder on it. One of my main reasons to lose weight was in order to be more confident to go out and meet someone. At 31 I am totally done with being single. Yet I continue to find myself thoroughly alone. Maybe I need to be more proactive - any ideas?

3 comments:

Mrs said...

Wow! Just caught up with your blog. It's been great to read; I think you're doing really well with RtM! You can be really proud.

If it's any consolation, most people feel like they are on their own with RtM because...they are. Suddenly, we're all eating different things and we're at different stages. I started RtM on my own. So, you're not on your own, if you see what I mean!!! LOL!

So, you're 31 and single. What the hell?! You're in the middle of doing something life changing and soon RtM will be over! You will have plenty of time to be out there.

My advice is just do what you love and love will follow. God, that is so corny but I hope you know what I mean. Give yourself the best possible chance to nail management now; it will be the best foundation possible that you can give yourself for the future. Then you can really go for it in your private life - doing things you enjoy.

31 is still young! Honest!

Well done; you're doing better than you think!

Big kiss.

Mrs Lxxxxxxx

Lesley said...

Yeah - can echo Mrs on the single thing. It's tempting to rush things but you're still in the baby steps stage of this dieting malarkey and it'd be better to really nail it (unlike me!) and then look at the rest of your life when that's more secure??

I think it takes a while for you to adjust to the new you anyway - once you do, the confidence flows in naturally. It took me several months before I started feeling like this is me - if you know what I mean.

I also empathise on the wanting company thing. I have done that too - craved a weekend with nothing planned then, when I got it, felt lonely and bored (and had a really bad eating weekend as a result). It sounds as though you managed to avert disaster, so well done. Maybe try and organise more activities, though, just in case.

Good luck chuck - it'll come - and 31 is v v young ....wish I was 31!

Lesley x

beth said...

I _totally_ sympathize. I lost weight for some of the same reasons, but -- depressingly -- meeting someone doesn't seem to get easier. (The only thing that is easier is that at least when I tear my closet apart looking for something to wear there are actually things in it. And things I like.) Good luck with everything -- you're doing brilliantly!