Day Four

Yet another day helping my parents pack up their house ready for their big move west next week. I managed to artfully not have any tea by bringing my own coffee bags, and I hate cooked salmon so it was easy to give their lunch a miss too. I think my mum worked out something was odd when I produced my own lunch - which I claimed to be a cupasoup. As I was about to leave my aunt asked how long I was abstaining for.... Without going into details I just said that I was trying to be good for 100 days. They both looked a little taken aback but didn't probe any further. All three of us are often on diets at one point or another and often of our own design so she asked no more. The questions will probably come when I have lost some weight. I hope.

It has been relatively easy so far as I have not been at work and had quite a number of fun distractions to keep me busy. However, I did find today that as the pressure was being put on me I started to get quite irritable and snappy. This was just because I was feeling hungry, I think. I have found that it is not that I am not hungry a lot of the time, but more that I don't really like what is on offer to eat. If I had to eat four portions of chips a day I would definitely remember to eat them and look forward to eating them. The shakes and soups just don't really do it for me!

From reading another blog I saw that someone with a similar starting weight and goal to mine lost 5lbs in her first week. She was dissappointed, and I think I will be too. As she noted, even in WW you lose about 7 in your first week. Mainly through loss of water - but still a good psychological lift at the end of the first week. But I am trying to mentally resigned myself to a 5lb loss. If I lose that it will be great - more will be awesome. Less... well, if it is less than I could probably do better elsewhere...

I had a dream last night that I was back at school. I walked into the staffroom and there was the usual spread on the table. In the dream I picked up some food and was absently eating it as I made tea. A dull dream, I would agree with you. But I woke up devestated (well, maybe that is a little too strong a word!) that I had just sabotaged the whole thing because I didn't stop and think. I am sure I will not do this but I know it will be harder when I am back at school and should savour these days.

I am off out again tonight. I'm going to see Martha Wainwright at Shepherds Bush Empire. My first gig in years without a drink. I am not sure if this is a diet or rehab!!!