Day Seventeen

Caramel sure is unpopular! Thank you all for the comments. I really think that the blogs and, most importantly, the fellow bloggers is the most crucial crutch in the whole Lighter Life program. I keep looking through blogs and seeing how people felt when they were at the same stage. Knowing that you all got through it gives me more reasons to stick with it.

I have noticed something quite worrying this week. I always knew that my entire social life revolved around going out to eat or drink but I am starting to notice that now I don't really have a social life. I think this is just made worse because I'm not at work at the moment. Next week when normal life resumes I will probably be happy to sit at home alone for the evening. At the moment I am not.

However, on the goal front things are still looking good...

Goal 1: All four packs consumed. Hurrah.
Goal 2: I'm on about three litres at the moment but I will drink at least one and a half before I retire.
Goal 3: Went to the gym again today. Just did the machines rather than a class but it is all good.


I am getting a lot of food cravings. I seem to have some kind of heightened sense of smell and want all of it. I keep trying to explain to myself (as advised by our LLC) that if I want it I can have it. No one is stopping me from eating it, but I am choosing not to. That whole Adult self thing. I seem to be convincing myself at the moment and really really want to be slim for Christmas. More than I want the chips. Although, I do want those chips. I am proud to say that not one illegal item has passed my lips. Only 83 days to go. Only? Jeeez.

Day Sixteen - Progress

Goal One: All four packs eaten. I made a banana muffin for breakfast and had it with a cup of black coffee. At lunchtime I had a banana shake and a nut crunch bar later in the afternoon. This evening I had a caramel shake - which actually made me gag and I had to force it down. Hmm. Not pleasant. May need to opt for hot chocolate instead.

Goal Two: I have probably drunk closer to six litres today. Mainly because I had the fridge stocked with fancy sparkling water. Delicious.

Goal Three: The Gym. I had the swim this morning, Half an hour on the cross trainer and then Pilates. Not that I am counting this as three visits. Promise. Don't think I'll get there tomorrow but I'll still have three more days to make two more vists. Easy. hmmm.


I'm looking forward to all my books arriving tomorrow. Although I have to go to work so will not get much reading time in. Early nights for me. Talking of which I must get back in to term time sleeping habits.

Good Night. x

Day Sixteen

Day 16, eh? They sure are clocking up. I'm feeling good today. I was pretty productive this morning and even went to the gym for a swim. Just having my lunchtime shake now and suckling on my water bottle.

I decided to set myself some goals this week. I working on the assumption of 'If I can keep them for one week, then I can keep them for two etc..'. So..

1. I will consumer four packs everyday.

Now I thought this would never be something I would have to try to do. I honestly thought that I would be trying to sneak in an extra one rather than trying to have four. Turns out I was wrong and given that these are the only nutrients I am getting I had better put that right.

2. I will drink 5 litres of water a day.

I had thought that the drinking of water would be hard as I never really drank water at all. Even when on holiday a few weeks ago - in the blazing sun - I still didn't drink it. I have got better and I can manage 4 now without a problem. I have read on many blogs and forums that drinking more water helps speed up weight loss so I am going to aim for five.

3. I will go to the gym at least three times this week.

I am a member of a REALLY nice gym. God knows why I don't go often. I think I am a little scared of it. Last summer I got into a really good habit and went very regularly then the new year came and I kind of gave up. So, back to the gym I go. I went swimming this morning and as I want to go back to Pilates I booked into that class too. Unfortunately it is on today at half six, so not really the paced out visits I meant. But I will go three times this week. At least.


My main reason for this is that I am very aware that the weight loss will probably slow down after the first couple of weeks so I want to help it out. Also, I will be back to school next week so I will not have the same sort of time to sit and think about myself. When other things get in the way I start to take short cuts and easy options, so if I can set up some good habits now I will try to keep them for.. well, for life.

It is very early in the game to be thinking about life after Foundation but as the blogs I read regularly are mostly at that stage it did get me thinking about how I need to really make complete changes to my life rather than short term solutions. I go out and eat too often and drink too much. A bottle of wine with dinner always meant a bottle each. After dinner drinks could go on until morning. I will need to learn moderation.

Last night I sat and read a lot of Mrs L's blog. This resulted in me hitting amazon.co.uk and I expect a little pile of books to arrive tomorrow. I am all up for complete submersion in this plan. I have lots of homework to do from this week's meeting including writing a letter to myself. So enough to keep me busy.

Day Fourteen

A 4lb loss. That's 13lbs so far.

One pound of fat = 3,500 calories.

Found this on MiniMins.com


Hello, do you know me?
If you don't you should. I'm a pound of fat, and I'm the happiest pound of fat that you would ever want to meet. Want to know why?

It's because no one ever wants to lose me; I'm Only One Pound, just a pound. Everyone wants to lose three pounds, five pounds or fifteen pounds, but never only one, so I just stick around and happily keep you fat.

Then I add to myself ever so slyly so that you never seem to notice it, that is until I've grown to ten, twenty or even more pounds in weight. Yes, it's fun being Only One Pound of fat, left to do as I please.

So, when you weigh in, keep right on saying "Oh, I only lost one pound." (as if that were such a terrible thing!)

For you see, if you do this you'll encourage others to keep me around because they will think I'm not worth losing. And I love being around you - your arms, your legs, your chin, your hips and every part of you. Happy Days!!

After all, I'm Only One Pound of fat!!!

Day Thirteen - Unlucky for some.

Man. I do not feel good. Utterly exhausted. Walking from one room to another makes me dizzy. This can not be right. So having packed my swim stuff to go to the gym I had to abandon it for the sofa. This is probably entirely my own fault. I have been finding it hard to get through the four packs each day. I always have three but I don't always managed to get in the fourth. I have started eating double packs to try to get through them but I need to try a little harder. I am really feeling the effects. Part of me does think that 125 calories can't really make that much difference so I guess it must be the vitamin and mineral content. I am drinking at least four litres of water still.

So, giving into temptation I got on the scales. According to them I have lost 1lb this week. 1lb! I mean, seriously. 1? I hope this is a weird blip and my body decides to shed loads next week. I guess I'll wait for the weigh in tomorrow and see what happens.

I had a uber banana shake this morning and a lemon bar this afternoon so just need to get one more shake in this evening. I really don't want it. Can't face it. But I will have it just in a vain hope that I may feel a little less like death. Another early night for me I think.

Day Twelve

So, today was a better day. Well, it kind of had to be better than yesterday. Last night my washing machine blew up filling the flat with smoke. I'm lucky to live in a building with a concierge so I rang him and he came up and helped me out. Thank God. I really didn't know what to do. But once we were out of the woods Jen and Mic came over and took me to the cinema. We went to see Knocked Up. Now, the trailers look rubbish. But it really isn't. It is actually a very well written, well acted, smart, awkward and genuinely funny film. Oh, and Paul Rudd is delicious in it. I recommend you go see it very soon.

Last night's adventures meant I had to wake up this morning and go buy another washing machine, which sucks as I really had not budgeted for such dramas. And I had treated myself to a Dyson this week so money was already stretched. I am sitting here watching Panic! At The Disco playing Reading and wondering when did I get this old. A treat is now a Dyson. A shopping trip is now for washing machines. Man, I wish I was 16 again.

But I started by saying that today was a good day. It was. My best friend Andy invited me along for a walk. The weather today was quite ridiculously beautiful. We walked from his in East Finchley up to Highgate, across Hampstead Heath and up to Parliament Hill and then back down to Kenwood house. Such a nice walk. I also had a chance to explain this whole diet to him and he had a chance to ask lots of questions. Andy is my drinking partner. And we do drink. He is also my dinner partner. We used to cook together all the time and go out for dinner at least once a week. Sunday nights were also our Chinese take out night. So this diet is affecting him a lot. He is completely supportive though. He grew up in a house of dieting women so this is nothing new to him. He is also used to having to adapt all his meals to the diet I happened to be on on any given week. It was quite a tough walk, and in the heat it was even tougher. I went straight home and into the shower and have done very little else for the rest of the day.

Think I'll head off to bed now. zzzzzz

Day Eleven

So, I've missed a few days as I have been helping my parents move to their new house in Wiltshire. So, pretty hectic but it has kept me quite busy. However, it has not kept me away from food. For the first time since starting LL I had to shop for food, prepare food for others and sit and watch while others ate when we went out for 'dinner'.

On the upside my parents were very supportive about LL. Commending me on my will power and my aunt and my mum ate noticeably less than would normally as a way of coming out in support. My dad, who is a man of very few words, also said he was glad I was doing it.

I am finding the diet much easier when I am alone as I do not need to have anything to do with food. When that is the case I can do OK. But when I need to watch others enjoying food I can't. My motivation needs a kick up the proverbial. I am still deciding whether to go to the pop in tomorrow. If the outcome is good then I'll leave with the thought that it is all worth it and I will reach my goal. However, what if it's not? Not eating is bloody hard.

Day Eight - So Hungy.

A good day as far as house/flat work goes. I really got stuck into getting rid of old clothes and 'stuff' that was kept for no reason in my one and only store cupboard. I live in a very small flat and really do not have room to keep all the rubbish I seem to hoard. I need to hit the wardrobe next. I am consciously waiting a few weeks until some of the clothes no longer fit me and that will give me a good reason to get rid of them.

I have really felt hungry today. I thought that this was not meant to happen. It was exacerbated when I went to my parent's house and they had fish and chips for dinner. The smell was amazing and I really wanted some. I then had to go to get some toiletries from the supermarket and everything looked tempting. I tried to avoid all other aisles but my eyes kept wandering. So, dear reader, I went along the aisles and set my eyes on what one treat I would have. I looked along the rows of different coloured packaging. I searched for the most exotic, most expensive and most indulgent option. Tucking it into my basket I began to imagine opening it at home, taking that first taste. San Pellegrino was the winning item. Yes, water. But.. Sparkling water. Look at me spoiling myself. Ah, well, whatever gets you through, as they say!

H. K. Duff VIII:		Well, Homer, your hunger strike lasted 12 amazing days.
Homer Simpson:		Me so hungy.
H. K. Duff VIII:		Of course you are, Hungry Hungry Homer. Why not break your fast with our brand-new Isotope Dog Supreme?

Day Seven - Weigh In

End of Week One!

9lbs down.

Day Five and Six - V Festival

The V festival was brilliant. I had a wonderful time - and it was so close! I didn't bother with the camping as I worried about trying to make up the food packs there. Instead I had a double shake in the morning before I left, and as my peeing on a stick was successful on Saturday's drop-in I was allowed a bar for the day time whilst I was there.

The abundance of food almost killed me at times. The whole site is packed with food stalls of every kind of food imaginable. Before I went I told myself that I had allowed myself to eat anything I like at all the other festivals I go to - but this time that would not be an option. It is so much harder when there is food EVERYWHERE. I really felt very hungry by the time it got to the evenings and was very tempted on many occasions just to plunge my face into the plates that were being carried past me. I think dignity was the only thing that stopped me! I think it was the smell rather than the actual need to eat.


The one thing I found a lot easier than I thought was the not drinking. I was worried that I would not enjoy it as much or feel as if I was missing out if I didn't have a cardboard cup of foamy beer. That really wasn't the case at all. Not drinking was easy. In fact it had a good effect on my group of friends - they drank very little as a result.

I tried to drink as much water as I could but did not hit the four litres. This was due to the toilet situation. The queues were about a half hour long so if I drank the right amount of water I would have missed all the acts. I hope this doesn't have a massive impact on my weight loss.

Day Five - Pop In

A 6lb loss.

Not bad at all...

Day Four

Yet another day helping my parents pack up their house ready for their big move west next week. I managed to artfully not have any tea by bringing my own coffee bags, and I hate cooked salmon so it was easy to give their lunch a miss too. I think my mum worked out something was odd when I produced my own lunch - which I claimed to be a cupasoup. As I was about to leave my aunt asked how long I was abstaining for.... Without going into details I just said that I was trying to be good for 100 days. They both looked a little taken aback but didn't probe any further. All three of us are often on diets at one point or another and often of our own design so she asked no more. The questions will probably come when I have lost some weight. I hope.

It has been relatively easy so far as I have not been at work and had quite a number of fun distractions to keep me busy. However, I did find today that as the pressure was being put on me I started to get quite irritable and snappy. This was just because I was feeling hungry, I think. I have found that it is not that I am not hungry a lot of the time, but more that I don't really like what is on offer to eat. If I had to eat four portions of chips a day I would definitely remember to eat them and look forward to eating them. The shakes and soups just don't really do it for me!

From reading another blog I saw that someone with a similar starting weight and goal to mine lost 5lbs in her first week. She was dissappointed, and I think I will be too. As she noted, even in WW you lose about 7 in your first week. Mainly through loss of water - but still a good psychological lift at the end of the first week. But I am trying to mentally resigned myself to a 5lb loss. If I lose that it will be great - more will be awesome. Less... well, if it is less than I could probably do better elsewhere...

I had a dream last night that I was back at school. I walked into the staffroom and there was the usual spread on the table. In the dream I picked up some food and was absently eating it as I made tea. A dull dream, I would agree with you. But I woke up devestated (well, maybe that is a little too strong a word!) that I had just sabotaged the whole thing because I didn't stop and think. I am sure I will not do this but I know it will be harder when I am back at school and should savour these days.

I am off out again tonight. I'm going to see Martha Wainwright at Shepherds Bush Empire. My first gig in years without a drink. I am not sure if this is a diet or rehab!!!

Day Three

So, I think I'm starting to get the hang of this.

I've just got in from town having been up to the MTV studios in Camden to see the recording of a new Russell Brand series. I know he is a bit of a love him or hate him character but I just love his Radio Two show - and loved him tonight. It was another great distraction but I was STARVING on the way home. I just whipped up a Banana Milkshake, which I actually enjoyed.

I also hit the gym today. Started with a brisk walk before going to Pilates. I did it for a while last year and did experience some benefits but it appears that all my muscles have been in retirement since. It was good - I'll be going regularly. I definitely need to sort out my stomach muscles if I am going to see some real change physically. I then went for it on the cross-trainer. If I can do this at least three times a week it should help change my shape, I hope!

I attempted the 'chickenmuffinstuffin' . I have to assume I did it wrong. No one would willing eat what I made. But thanks to the comments I will continue to experiment with the cooking of packets. I really want to master the crisps.

I told another friend today that I am doing the diet. She was great - told me she was proud of me and happy to support. She then admitted that she had started the Weight Watchers online. Although she then went on to say that the 17 points that she is allowed were simply not enough. However she pointed out that if her two partners in crime, me and Jen, weren't out eating lunches, dinners, post pub snacks, pizza with video etc.. she was likely to benefit too!

All this water is making me feel bloated most of time and it is still a trial trying to get it down. Tried to drink two extra litres today as well as I am not sure the water drunk in the gym lasted that long in the system!

And so to sleep.....

Day Two

Hurrah! Two days down.

I'm sitting here watching Diet Doctors. I watched two episodes of You Are What You Eat earlier. The funny thing is that I can only watch these programmes when I am on a diet. Whenever I am eating in my usual carefree* way I can't watch them - it is a simple case of denial. I hated the fact that I was slowly poisoning myself with apparently delicious food and then lectured about it. So I always turned over or switched off and went out for all you can eat chinese!

Not now though! New leaf and all that. I love raspberries. Love them. So I had the raspberry one for breakfast. It wasn't too bad but really did not taste of fruit. They all seem to taste of pretty much the same thing. I'm guessing my taste buds will change after a couple of weeks though. For lunch I had the caramel one. Now, this I liked. When I was in my late teens I had a mild obsession with Butterscotch Angel Delight (and I wonder where the belly came from!). Well, the caramel one tastes very much the same as that. I think the main problem is that I just do not have a sweet tooth - never had one. I have always been one to pass up on desserts and can leave chocolate and sweets festering for weeks in the fridge. So sweet shakes are not really for me.

I went to the cinema for the afternoon. I should probably explain that I am a teacher so I am on my school holidays at the moment - hence the time to write blogs and watch so much day time TV. I went to the cinema and watched Hairspray. The Big is Beautiful message was probably not the one I needed to hear. I also forgot that I hate musicals before I went. So, not the most succesful day. But it kept me away from food. I also got through a litre of water whilst I was there. Hurrah.

I could easily pass on the sweets and popcorn at the cinema but as I was leaving I really wanted to go across the road to the McDonalds for a double cheese burger. I went home and made some 'crisps' with a vegetable food pack instead. They were nasty. Really nasty. I also read on a forum that if you cook a pack it kills off the vitamins - has anyone else heard this?

So I have one more foodpack to 'eat' today, and another litre of water to drink before I go to bed. I have had a mild headache all day today - not really bad - just a bit annoying. Two days down. I'm sure that as soon as I see the weight loss it'll be worth it.

Finally I'd just like to say a quick thank you to all those who have been leaving comments - it really does help.


* Not any more!!!

Day One

I am sitting watching TV and enjoying my third meal of the day. I promise, I have not fallen off the wagon already! I had Banana Shake for breakfast which was surprisingly delicious. I used a hand blender so it was very thick and creamy. For lunch I had the Thai Chilli soup - it was strangely very milky. Not quite the Thai soup I am used to! But I got through it.

My parents are moving house so I spent the day packing up the house and drinking water, oh, and running to the toilet constantly. I hope my body gets used to this much water soon. And now I am having the chicken soup. It's not been difficult today, but then it really shouldn't - I did eat normally only yesterday.

I can't motivate myself to go to the gym this evening. It's wet and miserable outside so I am opting for a night of 24 instead. Jack Bauer and a chocolate milkshake - wonderful!I will go to the gym tomorrow. I'm not sure what other people have experienced when it comes to doing exercise on the LL diet. I am sure that it can only help - not to mention tone up a little!

I have put on the ticker chart as advised - I like the idea of the visual image but I will be much happier when I am no longer at the very start of the journey..

Right, back to the soup!

Ticker Chart

The First Meeting

So, Monday evening. I went along to the first meeting today. I was anxious all day and keen for it to start. The counsellor is fantastic. I really like her. She is very down to earth and tells it like it is. I am so pleased about this as I have found in many other diets I have done - eg. Weight Watchers - that the group leaders are both uninspiring and generally uninterested.

Today there were eight of us, the counsellor - L - said that more would be starting next week and then the week after. I believe that you can only have twelve in a group - many more than that and I feel it would be too diluted. It is a nice group. Quite a mixture of ages and with varying amounts to loose. Today we introduced ourselves and received our 'goody-bags' of food for the week. I came home and colour coded them and placed them in a couple of baskets. In a very strange way I am looking forward to making one for breakfast. After all this thought it is finally starting!

We will be having a drop in on Saturday to see how we are getting on and check to see if you have reached ketosis. I am going to the V festival in Chelmsford on Saturday. I am a little worried about attending a music festival and not drinking! There is also the trouble of making the food packs - but I am not going to let it get in the way.

I've still not really told anyone what I am doing. I was at my parent's house today but didn't get a chance to really go into it. As soon as I have started I will let people know when it is relevant.

So the facts as they stand:

Starting point - 14 stone 12lbs.

It feels like I have such a long way to go - wish me luck!

The Waiting Game

It's Sunday. I begin tomorrow but I don't like the waiting around. Now that I know I am going to do it I want to start straight away. I guess I should use today as a chance to prepare. Having read a number of blogs of people doing LL with families and children I should count myself lucky. I don't think I would last very long if I had to shop for food and prepare meals. Luckily I live alone so once the fridge is empty I should be ready to start. I am also going to clear out the wardrobe of all the clothes that are currently a little too big. My weight normally swings up and down and I can be wearing anything from a 16 to a 20. Currently I am a size 18 so I will get rid of anything larger than that.

So, today will be a big clear out day - ready to start tomorrow.

I am going out for dinner tonight as a friend has got relatives visiting. It will be my last meal out for a long time so I intend to enjoy it. Also the last drink I'll be having for some time. Yikes.

The Induction meeting

Today was the Induction meeting. I woke up really nervous, or excited. I had pretty much made up my mind to join but I wanted to go with an open mind to see if I can see a real downside. I asked that very question - I liked her answer. She simply said - 'You don't get to eat or drink, that's the downside.' Nothing but honest. I like that.

So next step is the doctor. Well, the nurse. I have an appointment on Monday and I hope to start the program on Monday evening. I can't imagine there is any reason why I will not be able to go ahead with it. I've not told anyone else yet. Apart from my friend who is doing it at the same time as me. Well, it was her that told me about it. I think I want to start it before I talk to anyone else about it. I'm not sure what the general reaction will be so I want to start it without everyone putting their oar in. If I am happy, healthy, mentally stable and loosing weight then I will let people know. Is this a bad idea?

A First Time For Everything

So, I am going to be new to many things. Firstly, the blog. I've never commited anything to the interweb through a fear of who may read it. Essentially, however, with the amount that are around I can safely say I should not gather too much attention.

So, why am I doing this? Well, having read a few other people's blogs I can see that they have been an essential part of maintaining their mental state and their weight loss. And that is why I am doing this. Tomorrow I will attend the information meeting for Lighter Life. If all goes well I will be seeing a nurse on Monday morning and beginning the programme on Monday evening. I am midly terrifed and exceptionally excited.

Why Lighter Life? Firstly, and most importantly, I must lose weight. I've been carrying 4 or 5 extra stones of weight for too long. I have tried everything else. I did pretty well with Weight Watchers once but never got down to my goal weight. The Atkins worked well for a while too but after loosing a few stone I gave up on it. The same thing happened last year when I began another diet - lost almost three stone and then it all went wrong again. Slowly I have put a stone and a half back on this year. So I need to do something else.

I have a very good friend who has experienced the very same thing. It was her that told me about Lighter Life. She is beginning it next week after attending a meeting a few weeks ago. When she first told me about it I was pleased that she was going to do it but I thought that it seemed very severe. Giving up all food, and to make matters worse - drink! Sounds scary. As she explained to me why she is doing it and what she wants to get out of it I slowly realised that it is not a big price to pay.

So, tomorrow I will go to the meeting but I think I have made my mind up already. Ironically I am meeting friends for lunch today. I don't want to get talked out of it so I am not going to tell many people. Not until I have started it and discovered whether I can do it. I know that I am a determined person - but my biggest weaknesses are food and drink.

My plan is to use this blog to explain what, why and how I am doing this. I fear I have written enough for today although I could go on and on for hours. More later.